International Rules of Manhood

A friend once shared some International Rules of Manhood with me. Live by them or die.


1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2. If you've know a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
3. No man shall be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.
4. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask what the score is, but never ask who is playing.
5. You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
6. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
7. If another man's fly is down, that's his problem, move along, you didn't see anything.
8. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman, must remain sober enough to fight.
9. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer, or the last slice of pizza, but not both...that's just being greedy.
10. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost inperceptable nod is all the conversation you will need.
11. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is nopt acceptable for her to drive yours.
12. There is never a situation that calls for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
13. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights"
a. Yeah baby, push it!
b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!
14. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmans?" with "If you loved me you would know what to get me." gets a vibrating dildo. End of story.



If you know of any more. Please post them in a reply.

Peace out, bitches....Winter Storm Stout...here I come.