I brake for....OH SHIT!! NO BRAKES!!!

I recently bought a new car. When I recieved my new license plates, I didn't want to have them mounted by the typical dealership bracket. After all, we're not getting paid to advertise for them, are we?? So I wanted to get some license plate holders that were customized to my personality. Now, for those of you that know me, I am a little unique, so I didn't really like all the personal ones that are already out there, that everyone else has...

for example:

I BRAKE FOR MUSIC

or

ALUMNI of UNIVERSITY of BALTIMORE

or

I'D RATHER BE FISHING


...you all know what I'm talking about, right? I mean, you've seen these a hundres times. So i did some research and found a company that allows you to personalize your own saying, and they will make the license plate holder and ship it to you! Isn't that great! So I came up with a list of sayings that I thought might be a touch more personal to my lifestyle, feelings, and beliefs. Some of these are inspired by bumper stickers I've seen, others I thought up. All are magically delicious...

* Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
* Ax Me About Ebonics
* If You Can't Feed 'Em, Don't Breed 'Em
* Constipated People Don't Give a Crap
* Forgive Your Enemies, It Messes With Their Heads
* I'd Rather Be Taking a Dump
* I'd Rather Be Back In Prison
* I'd Rather Be Doing Your Sister
* Alumni: University of Your Mom
* Alumni: University of Suck It
* Alumni: University of Beer
* Alumni: University of Redundancy University
* If you can read this, then I can slam on my brakes and sue you.

There are many more that I will post later. If you like some of these, but are looking for a bit more raunch, you should check out my favorite T-Shirt site. Be warned...some of it is just wrong.

Peace out, bitches.....Sam Adams here I come.