College Course Evaluation Forms

Being a recent college graduate, one of my fondest moments from my trip towards a diploma, was the "course evaluation form" that we students received every semester-end, when a class was about to end. I used to think that these evaluations meant nothing, and I always just went down the form and filled in the middle bubble. Then when it got to the part where you had to answer questions, and write how you would improve the class, I would either write nothing, or write "everything was ok". But then one semester, I had an instructer that I really felt should not have a teaching position on a university level. This instructer was a flaming left-winged, tree-hugging, hippie-liberal. Now, mind you, there is nothing wrong with that; but when your political stance is effecting how you grade the students work, it's just wrong. I found this out because for the whole semester me and another student conducted an experiment: I turned in the shittiest papers I could write, but always filled them with anti-war, Bush-bashing stuff. (And when I say shitty, I mean like 4th grade level shitty. Remeber the "Dick and Jane" books from grade school? Well, that's how I wrote.) Meanwhile, the student that sat next to me (a Marine), was turning in these beautifully written papers filled with pro-Bush, pro-war stuff. Guess which one of us got an A? That's right! Me! She would actually write on my papers that she agreed with my political stances and felt the same way! And she wrote on the other students' papers that she disagreed with him whole-heartedly and wanted him to "revise his work".

So anyway, the moral of the story is that I learned how to read the teacher, and act in a way that got me the highest grade for the least amount of work. But I was sooo pissed at this teacher, and I wanted to do something about it.

So I took about 30 minutes and really let her have it on the course evaluation form. I wrote some nasty shit. Even though it was all true, I still felt really guilty when I put it in the envelope. But I didn't think anyone read them.

Wrong I was! I got an email from the head of the department wanting to speak with me by telephone. I phoned him and we had a nice chat. He explained to me that those evaluations are really important to a teacher, and they are taken VERY seriously. They even effect the teachers annual increases, etc.

Man, he shouldn't have told me that. Because that's when I went nuts. Every class, I filled out the evaluation form and just wrote the craziest shit I could think of. It was so amusing to think that someone would be forced to read the ramblings of a twisted mind!

Here are a few examples of what was written on a few college course evaluation forms: (feel free to use these)

1. "The textbook is almost useless. Unless of course you count all the times I used it to scrape up bird poop whe I was hungry"

2. "He teached like Speedy Gonzales on a caffeine high!"

3. "Help me...I've fallen asleep, and I can't get up!"

4. "This instructor would make a great parking lot attendant. He tries to tell you where to go, but you can never understand him."

5. "This class is worthwhile only because I need it for my degree."

6. "The textbook is confusing. Someone with a knowledge of the English language should proofread it."

7. "Problem sets are a decoy to lure you away from potential exam material."

8. "He is one of the best teachers I ever had. He is well organized, presents great lectures, and creates interest in the subject. I hope my comments don't hurt his chances of getting tenure."

9. "I just sat in class and stared out the window. The squirrels have a cool nest in that tree."

10. "Information was presented to us like a ruptured fire hose: spraying in all directions, and no way to stop it."

11. "I never bought the textbook. My $110.00 was better spent on CD's I used to help get me through problem sets."

12. "The course was very thorough! What wasn't covered in class was on the final exam."

THE END


Peace out, bitches..... apple juice and eggwhites, hereI come.