It's been a while

Musicains joke of the day:

Q: How do you get a guitarist to play softer?
A: Put a piece of sheet music in fron of him.


So it's been a while since my last blog. This is more than likely due to the fact that my lovely wife and I just had a new baby boy.

Thomas Coltrane Stagg, born on July 19th, 2006.

He's a cute little baby. Hopefully he'll grow up to be a star athelete, and make millions. That way I can mooch off of him until I pass away.

So, I'm finally starting to get some sleep again, and I have come across many things that I need to share with the people who read this blog. Yes, all 4 of you.

So here now are some funny things I have come across in the past few months. I hope you're ready....


* Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughter house in Bonn. Suddenly, the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.

* The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers.
A minute later, they were both eaten by a killer whale family that was swimming nearby.

* Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb he was sending to a financial institution in NJ. The package came back to him with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was a bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

* A bus carrying five passangers was hit by a car in St. Louis, MO. By the time police and fire rescuers had arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and were complaining aboiut whiplash injuries and back pain.

Well. It's been a pleasure writing today. Please stay tuned, as I will be posting some more funny shit on a frequent basis again.
We now join our regularly scheduled program, "Flappy, the bulemic elephant, " already in progress...


peace out, bitches! Coffee....here I come.